Chatroulette on the ivories

Yeah, we admit we’ve already used Chatroulette. But in the space of just a few weeks it’s already old news. And, lets be honest, there are few too many, ahem, interesting users out there. In any case, just as the world’s interest was starting to fall, along comes this chap with a piano to show what you can do with a bit of creativity and a sense of humour. We like.

REX’s own little Art Dubai

It’s time for dicky bows, bizarre hair dos and interesting colour combinations. That’s right, Art Dubai kicks off this week down at the Madinat Jumeirah. We’re not exhibiting this time around, but we’d like to give you a sneak preview of GALLERY REX: RECONCEPTUALISING INFINITY, that we’re hoping will have a major presence next year. Send us your attempts (ideally using MS Paint) and you could be part of the show.

Thank you for your attention!

Thank you for your attention!
I would like to introduce a good company who mainly do business in brand shoes,clothes,handbags,and so on. Now the company is under sales promotion and all the products are sold nearly at their cost price. They provide best products and best serivce to their customers. As one export&import company, all their goods are brand new and original and with official warranty. Even the price will be a surprise for you!Of course,the most important ,they accept PAYPAL!
It is realy a good chance for shopping online. Grasp the opportunity, now !
Their web address is:( http://productofchina-online.com/)

Exaggerate and Win!

The art of the exaggeration is thankfully not lost. Just last week, as news of the leak in the Dubai Aquarium started spilling out (pun entirely intended), we were quickly inundated with fantastical reports of Candylicious being swamped with man-(and lollipop) eating sharks, and fish being taken by taxi to new waters.

Alas, it wasn’t true, but you’ve got to love the immediate sense of OTTness that emerged. We did, and now want more. We want more ridiculous stories started, dispersed and eventually fed to the hungry International press as fact. We’ll start one ourselves.

AN UNKNOWN YETI-LIKE CREATURE HAS BEEN ATTACKING SKIERS IN SKI DUBAI.

There, it may sound ludicrous, but no doubt if people start talking about it and somebody else prints it online, The Dubai Abominable Snowman will become world news and quickly added to the ever-growing list of the city’s ‘embarrassments’.

Go on, try it for yourself. Start spreading a story about a new disease only spread via oversized malls, or perhaps something about one of The World islands being captured by Somali pirates. Go on, it’s fun!

First one to get something on the front page of an international newspaper wins a prize (a free subscription to REX?)

What’s with the tributes?

Seriously, what on earth is it with this place and absolutely rubbish tributes? If you want to show that you quite like a piece of architecture or something, don’t bloody do it out of discarded bits of card or a tiny sliver of wood. So far for the Burj Dubai Khalifa, we’ve had a 3.6 metre tower made out of used phone cards and a replica sculptured from a matchstick, hardly fitting for the world’s tallest building.

In honour of these monumental wastes of time, we’re going to throw a little competition your way. Please make your own tribute to the Burj. Do it out of anything. A Spinney’s shopping bag. Yesterday’s uneaten shawarma. A pile of clothes you really should have folded and put away. Anything. Then photograph it and send it to us.

We’ll find something suitable for the winner. Perhaps you’ll get our own replica of the Emirates Towers made out Masafi bottles (we haven’t yet made this, but we can if necessary).

Toilets to Valentine’s

Whether you spent last night swamped under a sea of love and gooey cards, or with a Pot Noodle, Valentine’s Day is officially over for another 52 weeks, allowing us all to breathe again.

We couldn’t help but chuckle at one friend’s dilemma yesterday. Having been told by his  girlfriend that she didn’t want any fuss, he didn’t make any. As such, he awoke to find himself firmly in the doghouse. You see, what she said was LIES LIES all LIES. Yes, she wanted a fuss. Yes, she wanted flowers. Yes, she probably even wanted a ridiculously oversized red teddybear with ‘I WUV YOU’ written on side and ‘Made in China’ on the other.

Regarding rubbish Valentine’s gifts, lets honour Ben Affleck, who in 2003 bought the delightful Jennifer Lopez a jewel-encrusted toilet seat (designed by himself, of course) worth $103,000. Apparently the stones were set inside the seat so her bum didn’t get scratched. How thoughtful. Sadly for poor Ben, his toiletty gift has recently been awarded the least romantic gesture of all time.

What rubbish, we’re getting a specially designed gold-plated toilet seat made for next year, one with images of the Burj and other iconic Dubai structures on it. And if she says she doesn’t want it, we’ll know it’s all LIES.

5 Songs NOT to add in your Valentine’s Mix

Valentine’s Day is less than ten nights away and creating a mix of your favorite tunes for your beloved scores high. It’s a very romantic gesture and thus we decided to create a list of five great songs that should definitely NOT be on that list to save you from any embarrassing moments. Below each song is a part of the lyrics that tells you exactly why you should avoid these songs.

1) Fast Car – Tracey Chapman.
A brilliant song, but you’re ready to shoot yourself out of depression after it ends.

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids

2) Every Breath You Take – The Police
If there ever was a song that a Stalker took a moment out of his full time job to get inspiration from, this would be it.

Every breath you take. Every move you make
Every bond you break. Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day. Every word you say
Every game you play. Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

3) You Oughta Know – Alanis Morissette
Revenge is a dish best left out of the Valentine’s dinner meal

And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you’re still alive

4) House of Cards – Radiohead
The entire theme of Valentine’s Day is “Romance.” This song is exactly the opposite.

I don’t wanna be your friend
I just wanna be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

5) Thunder Rolls – Garth Brooks
Country Music- if played backwards, we’d all end up alive and happy.

But on the wind and rain
A strange new perfume blows
And the lightnin’ flashes in her eyes
And he knows that she knows
And the thunder rolls
And the thunder rolls

So there you go- five brilliant tunes, probably all in my top 100 songs, but ones I’d save for another occasion. Certainly not Valentine’s day.

The Collector Nears

“It makes the Saw series and Hostel look likes kid’s films.” So said our friend in the film industry when describing The Collector, the new gore-fest out this week (and we’ve got a load of free tickets to the premier you can win).

Obviously, we’re going to watch it. But we can pretty much guarantee that we’ll be curled up in our cinema seats with hands over our eyes and a look of twisted torment on our faces. But we still have to see it. And afterwards, probably while walking alone in a dimly lit park one evening, for no good reason, we’ll try to remember the most terrifying scenes, just to add a splash of horror to the proceedings.

It may sound a bit daft, but the film that scared us the most was Stephen King’s IT. It’s just that clown. That absolutely terrifying clown. And whenever we sense a hint of spookiness in our surroundings, up pops the clown in our minds. Suddenly things feel a whole lot worse and we’re frozen in horror. Great.

We’re not sure why. There’s clearly something in our heads that veers towards the bizarre. Take the other weekend, at the observation deck of the rather tall Burj Dubai Khalifa. It was only when we were leaning against the glass on the outside terrace to see all the way down that we remembered we weren’t too hot with heights and our legs started to go a bit wobbly. Nice one brain.

So, there we have it. We can’t help but embrace things that absolutely scare the living bejesus out of us.

See you at The Collector, then.

Boredom knows no bounds

In just the space of a week, not one but two monumental displays of utter boredom land in our inboxes. The first, a sculpture of the Burj made out of a single matchstick, had us howling with derision. Seven hours it took to make. Seven hours carving a little matchstick. But then, before we had a chance to really go to town on such an outrageous waste of humankind’s potentially dwindling existence, up step the Dubai Police with the world’s largest ever seashell mosaic. Yes, you read correctly.

Now, when we’re bored we generally make a cup of tea, read a book or attempt to discover what utter nonsense is considered television these days. But what about you? What do you do when you’re out of ideas. Do you suddenly spring into action and attempt to build the world’s tallest structure out of sofa cushions, or carve a replica of Deira City Centre out of polystyrene? Let us know. There’s no prize in it, we’re just curious and want a laugh.

Win with REX

So, it’s week three of January and resolutions are already no doubt somewhere at the bottom of the black bin bag, alongside the rotting remains of the vegetables you  bought on 1 January in a spontaneous attempt to eat healthily. Next year. Yes, definitely next year.

Anyway, let’s ditch the negative tones and focus on a fresh batch of REXness, which this week includes the last chance to win a rather fantastic Nokia N97 Mini. Three of these little fellas have already been snapped up by lucky, lucky REXists, leaving just one remaining on the table in the corner that has COMPETITION PRIZES scrawled on it in giant childish handwriting. It’s feeling lonely on there, so head here and send us your answer. Suddenly things might not be all doom and gloom.

But yeah, we’re still not going to go to the gym just yet.